"The person who has stopped being thankful has fallen asleep in life." -ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
What about life don't you trust?
I've noticed in the recent weeks of my own life, I've been finding MORE of my trust with life, with the universe, with God. I trust that my dad will find the peace and tranquility he seeks. I trust that the journey I am called to will be shown in time. I trust that I have all the abilities and love to complete anything I ever want. But what don't I trust? In moments of heartache, I don't trust myself or the plans of the stars. I am no longer a creature lacking self-worth. I know that I may be complicated at times, but I am truly worth knowing. I will always be willing to give something to someone, anyone who is willing to share a little bit of themselves with me. i don't trust the transformation of myself in times of confusion. I hear the thoughts of a girl whom I have no idea where she came from. When the struggles get too hard, I feel hopeless. When my dad has another confusing episode, I start to feel like I want to die. Which is completely dramatic, but oh sometimes I feel like their is no escape. Refuge with a friend for two hours leaves me no peace. I no longer find myself happy to come home, but instead dreading it. So do I not trust the lessons of the cards that were dealt to me? Do I not trust the fruits and treasures that lay in everyone we come across? Even the overly sarcastic boy that you sometimes you feel like you can't even stand? or the boy you've opened up your heart to and still can't realize how beautiful you are? At times, no I don't trust these things and I don't trust the plan provided for me. I lose faith and lack a shit ton of love. These are the moments when the art of love should be practiced, when I should push for the highest version of myself and let the old Leigh continue to sink. Truthfully though, sometimes I just want to be held. I want someone else to take the initiative to take care of me and carry me through the day. I want someone to graze the curves of my shoulder and whisper to me that everything will be okay. Not just in my own personal life, but in the entire world. There is so much hate in the world it's sinks heavy on the heart. I wish for an entire world boosted on the foundation of love. Where there are no social classes, no races, no competition. Just people doing their jobs because it's what they love to do.
i don't trust the power of the love in my heart all the time,
but I'm learning to.
