#14

"Why indeed must "God" be a noun? Why not a verb...the most active and dynamic of all?"-MARY DALY

What are you hiding?
For the first time in weeks, months, possibly even an entire year I feel that I am out of hiding. I feel more courage and more confidence to slip outside of the hermit shell and embrace...simply, myself. I don't always feel good some days. I feel like hiding under the covers or saying negative things about myself. I feel like I'm unable to control those days and the moods that manipulate the strum of my vocal chords. When I was younger, I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to tour the world and change something. It wasn't playing music that was so much important, but the opportunity to meet people and make a difference. At that time, I just thought music was the calling to change. When I was twelve, Good Charlotte brought me to my happy place. I think as we move through our journey we encounter a variety of things that simply allow us to feel ourselves again...or our souls, if you will. I would watch interviews, live performances, and watch the then twenty-somethings morph into charming men. I felt courage, felt possibilities, I felt what the soul had to say. Since then, I've gathered many other triggers to my happy place. It's something I'm grateful that I randomly find. However, it's been awhile since I felt it to a full extent. Where I felt like the message was clear and I was well enough to undertake the journey. Yesterday, out of blue I felt ready to let go of past feelings and to move forward. Certain things strike you when you least expect and you realize things you use to want with all your soul, aren't what you want anymore. Not that those people, places, or things aren't great but you understand that you just want more for yourself.
So ten years later from the age of twelve and with their new record out, I find myself watching Good Charlotte interviews again. I feel that happy place and the enthusiasm and energy I felt as a young kid.
I know the bad days come, but they also go.
So while they are away, I embrace it.

I am in view.